Fair warning: this might come off a little blunt. But it’s been on my mind for a while, and frankly, it’s starting to drive me up the wall. There’s a growing trend among people my age that I can only describe as… a self-pity epidemic.

“F my life.”
“Just my luck.”
“Nothing ever goes right for me.”
“The world is out to get me.”

I’ve noticed an alarming number of peers who, say, spill their coffee and react as if the universe personally attacked them. They treat literally any minor inconvenience as some form of suffering. Slight discomfort? Must be oppression. A delay? Clearly a personal attack from the heavens.

And wow– it is exhausting to be around!

Being in the orbit of someone who constantly laments about how unfair life is drains you in a way that’s hard to describe. Every conversation turns into a monologue about how difficult their life is, how they can’t catch a break, how they are uniquely unlucky.

However, here’s the hard truth that lots of people don’t want to hear: life doesn’t owe you constant comfort. It never promised fairness, convenience, or perfect timing. Things fall apart. People let you down. Plans derail. That’s not a personal tragedy– it’s just life doing what life does.

I’ve also noticed how it reveals the resilience of some people and the laziness of others. There’s a difference between struggling and staying down. Everyone struggles. But not everyone gets back up. Some people treat hardship as a challenge, and others treat it as a permanent identity. It’s almost like some people don’t want to recover because the sadness gives them something to say. It gives them an aesthetic, a way to be seen. But that’s stagnation, not strength. You have to understand that the “woe is me” persona will not get you anywhere. You simply… have to get back up. You just do. Life will knock you over, and sometimes it’ll hurt like hell, but you cannot sit there forever. You can cry, you can rest, you can take a beat– but then you get up. You try again. You keep going. Because that’s what people have always done. The world doesn’t bend itself to your mood, and it’s not supposed to.

That’s precisely what this self-pity epidemic misses: resilience is work. Gratitude is work. Choosing to keep going is work. And a lot of people just don’t want to do that work anymore. It’s easier to say “the world is out to get me” than to ask, “what can I do differently?” It’s easier to vent, to sink into victimhood than to get up and move. But easier isn’t better– it’s just easier.

Another huge part of this is the rise of this increasingly popular “therapy speech.” The recent stream of TikToks and tweets saying things like:

“I don’t owe anyone anything.”
“I’m protecting my peace.”
“I’m setting boundaries.”
“I’m doing what’s best for me.”

All fine ideas in moderation– until they become excuses to stop being decent. Somewhere between “self-care” and “self-centered,” we’ve lost the plot. It’s one thing to have boundaries; it’s another to use them as shields against accountability. Shocker, but… you actually do owe people things sometimes. You owe kindness. You owe effort. You owe patience. Being a good person occasionally means being inconvenienced. That’s life. That’s how community works. I think we’ve forgotten that being human is supposed to involve a little bit of discomfort.

At some point, you have to stop narrating your life like it’s a Shakespearean tragedy and remember: you’re not the only one in the story. Other people exist. Other people struggle. You are not cursed– you’re just not the center of the universe.

I am not trying to be mean or insensitive. I say all of this with love, because I get it! It’s easy to slip into self-pity. It’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. It’s easier to complain than to reflect, to post about your pain instead of doing something about it. But all that negativity becomes a habit. It reshapes the way you think until you start expecting bad things to happen– and resenting everyone for not being as miserable as you. Therefore, we need to make gratitude a conscious, daily practice. Not just when life feels good, but especially when it doesn’t. Choosing to focus on what’s still right, even when things go wrong, is how we build resilience.

So no, not everything is “just your luck.” I think it’s time we stop glamorizing self-pity and start practicing perspective. You don’t need to minimize your struggles, but you also don’t need to treat them like prophecies. Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes you just spill your coffee. Sometimes you’re just late. It’s okay. You’re okay. Stop wasting time feeling sorry for yourself, get back up, and keep going.