Participation. The dreaded word that can turn any introvert’s stomach inside out.   

For many students, myself included, the mere thought of participation is enough to make us never want to step foot in a classroom again. I have never been one to ever jump at the chance to share with the class. Speaking in a class for all to hear is suffocating and leaves shaking hands and quickened breaths in its wake.      

It’s hard enough as it is but there will always be someone hovering near with the words “it’s not that hard” on their lips. Those words have followed many individuals year after year. One would think that after so much time in the classroom the ability to participate would flow without a second thought. If only it really was that simple.  

So many times we have been told to “just get over it” by those around us. It comes at us from all different angles and leaves us feeling worse than before. We are trying but that in itself is never quite enough for the good majority of people. The reality is that little good ever comes from the constant nagging and belittling. Speaking and participating in the classroom is not an easy feat for everyone.

Trying to muster up the courage to engage in class discussions or even raise a hand seems near impossible most days. It feels as though a weight is crushing upon your chest leaving you fighting for air. It can get rather tiring with this continuous routine day after day. More often than not it is extremely frustrating.

It’s not that we aren’t trying, it’s quite the opposite actually. We would rather not have to deal with it at all. In actuality these feelings will always tuck themselves away and jump out on us at any given moment. Some days we feel up to it or at least willing to try while other days it is much too suffocating and crushing to want to fight it. 

Everything all at once and being surrounded by classmates who can easily participate can be rather overwhelming for many. There will always be the nagging thought of “why can’t I just speak, why does it have to be so difficult”. It is a constant battle with ourselves to say even the smallest of things in a group setting, especially within the classroom. 

It’s always a struggle with the mind. To speak or not to speak is constantly running itself through one’s head and enveloping their thoughts.